If Only I Could Make A Deal With God
by CherokeeAndProud
Summary: "How much are we talking about here? A thousand? Three thousand?" A darker spin on "Dogs Playing Poker." (Mentions of rape and prostitution)


**If Only I Could Make A Deal With God-Switched At Birth**

The gun clicked.

A life time in two seconds.

His heart started again.

 _Then it screamed_.

His palms were dripping in sweat.

The gun was placed down on the table.

Toby's whole body shook like an earthquake.

He felt light headed.

 _Oh God_.

He should be dead right now.

But that was $900 off his debt already.

$2,000 for one game.

 _3 more shots to go..._

Toby's breathing patterns were off the charts.

The adrenaline rush for this...was:

 _Incredible_.

It was an honest to G#d _high!_

Toby honestly thought Russian Roulette was the idiot's route to the after life on an express lane.

But he had so much debt...

" _So how much are we talking about here? A thousand?...Three thousand?"_

There was no going back.

Not from this.

 **Bang!**

Blood splatter hit him in the face **.**

 **LINEXLINEXLINEXLINEXLINEXLINEX**

Toby stared at his reflection in the mirror.

Blood dripped to the tile floor slowly.

Drip.

 _Drip_.

He couldn't afford not to be okay.

Hands raked through fiery hair, after splashing some water onto pale cheeks.

 _Be okay..._

For months it had all been about Bay Kennish and Daphne Valquez.

The "misunderstood rich bad girl" and a Porta Rican-raised deaf basketball player.

He couldn't afford to not be normal.

But Toby had been drowning for months.

He felt lost.

 _Out of control..._

 **Bang!**

But for everyone's sake he had to keep it together.

He was 18.

He couldn't afford to be wild and crazy like Bay.

Toby wiped the rest of the blood off on a white wash cloth.

He had to okay.

For his parents.

For everyone.

Just...

 _Be okay_.

But every inch of his being yearned for attention.

Toby played a little louder each and every day.

It wasn't enough.

Weekly poker nights turned daily.

 _He lost thousands._

Toby felt himself sweating.

He could get it back...

Eventually.

The man's brain matter had gotten everywhere.

Nothing was more horrifying than knowing the player next to you wasn't so lucky.

Tobias Kennish wasn't that lucky.

Tonight maybe, but...

He sold everything.

It still wasn't enough.

 _Be okay..._

It would never be enough.

Bay thought he had a problem.

She thought wrong.

He couldn't afford to be the bad child.

The stains coudn't be removed...

The one with a serious problem.

His parents didn't need that kind of stress.

He was okay.

And out of the way...

Just like everyone needed him to be.

A couple more grand.

The dark circles underneath his eyes were increasing rapidly every day.

No one seemed to notice.

It was just fine.

He didn't need help.

His fingers twitched and thrummed against the porcelain white sink.

A layer of sweat covered his body head to toe.

Toby sniffed and pulled back.

A few more grand...

And that was it.

He could still feel the guy on him.

 _Hands roaming..._

The client Wilke set him up with.

 _Lips sinking into his_.

Toby hated the idea with a burning passion but...

" _What are we talking about here? A thousand? Three thousand?"_

Forget it.

He couldn't be a problem.

The tests sold for a decent amount.

But he got caught.

 _Be okay_.

People found out.

 _Be okay_.

Daphne and Emmett had to come to that poker game.

Toby had to deal with the suspension.

And pay off more debt...

 _Be okay..._

He snuck off at odd hours of the day, sometimes the night...

 _Heavy pressure..._

 _Absolute terror._

It really depended on whenever one of Wilke's clients would call.

The things Toby was forced to do was... _humiliating_.

But the look on his dad's face when he asked if it was three thousand...

 _No_.

No, Dad.

 _It was ten._

A lousy ten.

What else could he do?

Toby had to be an adult and fix his own mess.

He stood up straight, staring into his own reflection.

Then took a solid breath.

By digging himself deeper and deeper into trouble.

Someone decided their prices were faulty and raped him right on that couch.

No one heard him scream.

No one cared.

 _Be okay..._

They were off looking for Bay.

Toby stared at the bottle of pills in his hand.

He ignored the tremors.

He had to be okay.

He couldn't afford not to be.

 _Please notice me..._

He swallowed.

 **End Chapter One.**


End file.
